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.wistful.They're almost black: the memories.
Ironically fitting, the tint to our clothes and
how you hair was supposed to be but of course that had turned out
unexpected, a little too poetic to mean anything but
brighter is what I need.
And I'll take that optimism and run it up my veins,
- not painfully, don't spare a pause for concern, i'm alright, i promise -
and maybe it'll spark a new light
something to help see better, feel better, breathe better,
anything to remember.
But once I do, it'll only hurt more
and it already hurts plenty without the reminders of
moon-eyes, they were like moons, right?
porcelain, pristine no matter how damaged you swore you were,
a laugh that i knew was music, but what was the tune?
a smile, lips turned up but i can't seem to recall how or why or
where those memories went.
they've got to be here somewhere..
and of course the closeness,
that final moment that passed too quickly of
arms linked, hearts joined, we were so close -
.Withering Ties.What comes with you is withering ties
Run down by distance soaring high
A side of memories to go by
With swollen hopes run sick and dry.
It's broken shards of promise lands
Of shining knights and Peter Pans
To calm your jittery, shaky hands
To drop your fragile grains of sand.
What we once were seems to have flown
Shapen by the sides we've grown
And what we may have never known
Came about when left alone.
It's a new window to look through
Of greener grass that's bright and new
With sunlight to light up your blues
A reflection of me and you.
A ball of wishes waiting
It's magic never fading
The seeds filled with desire
To shoot your hopes up higher.
The stem is plucked without a care
Chance for a wish is equal; fair
Inhale your trust and all you know
Exhale your dreams and let them go.
They'll ride the wind and sail the skies
Whisked away before your eyes
And when they're ready, they will grow
All they need is just a blow.
.Pining.Of urgency and desperation
A heart in need of love's salvation
Send a smile my direction
Trust in me your heart's protection.
A spark was shared between our gaze
Which marked the start of many days
In which I'd drown under your stare
Stripped of thought, you left me bare.
Down to bones, I tend to wonder
If in your mind I ever to wander
Like the child I stoop down to
When it comes to me and you.
I like to think our spark had meaning
Towards destiny I'm often leaning
But even fantasy walks a line
To keep your fate sealed off from mine.
.Spiral.A twisting, turning coil spirals
Lower, lower, 'til it drops
The coil's close to snapping now
Tighter, tighter, 'til it pops.
Hear it snap; fast as a blink
Listen, listen, or you'll miss it
See it spring back; no hestiation
Quickly, quickly, did you see it?
It's not the same, it's broken now
Fix it, fix it, make it better
Before it's rusty and forgotten
Hurry, hurry, put it together.
Time is sprinting much too fast
Slower, slower, can you keep up?
It's fate is sealed; broken forever
Silence, silence eats you up.
.Unconditional.Stunted attention gravitates around two foggy scenes
One of muddy browns, one of looming evergreens
The same abrupt ending to come, the same destiny
Of having to take in the blows and continue moving.
There's always the same blip of thought to get me stumbling
The 'what-if's' that fuel that fire dying to keep burning
But no matter the desperation cycling through my head
I'd rather go down with a smile than be broken and dead.
It's a constant struggle to look forward, ignore the urge to look
But if I do, there's no stopping the automatic hook
I'll flouder and I'll lose my grip just for old time's sake
It's too big of a hole to fill, too big a risk to take.
Those certain songs and memories are pushed away like disease
The wound's too ripe to reminisce, I'll never be at ease
And the moon would be your eyes while the sun would be your smile
And the snapshots would come rushing in, like they have for a while.
So to keep the blistering pain at bay, I'll look off to the side
Pretend that ther
.Facade.A mere sweetness to the eyes
With a gentle voice to add
Not a true threat to the field
In which a heart's moths do flutter.
There's but the smallest stirring
To accompany a lonely smile
Aware of forced love's quaint facade
To lure a heart into deception.
Be it a game of love or lust
A tug of war of 'do's and 'don't's
Or simply a game of pretend
To dress a lone smile with color.
There's a bitter beauty in the cracks
Of a heart that's feigned affection
The hint that what was once reality
Could return if properly coaxed out.
.Ghost.Am I but a ghost for you
The way you are a ghoul for me?
Am I ever just a speeding car
Passing by your highway-mind?
You were my fall-back safety net
To keep me from falling too hard
You were my sane security
To cling to when my bird-heart trembled.
I don't miss your apologies or promises or words
But the intentions behind them; the feel, the touch, the looks
I yearn for nostalgic concern that's faded into speckled papers
The thought that once I had been primary, no longer so expendable.
Now we're trapped in memories; scrapbooks laced with tears
The broken bond and stitched up hearts that beg for a numbing dosage
Now it's saddened hopelessness, desperate for a glimpse to the future
In fear that we may end up with just one love that never lived to blossom.
:.Dream.:Sometimes, when I'm alone and only silence rings through the halls, I'll go into my room and turn the lock.
I grab my headphones and slip them on, powering up my trusty music player then carefully selecting a song.
I close my eyes and wait.
There's a stirring in the room: a quiet rumble as the song starts up. There's only black to see, but my senses kick in as the faint sound of chanting plays into the background.
I open my eyes and the sight before me is stunning.
The walls are no longer a bland eggshell-white, but are loud and ecstatic. They hold a sea of fist-pumps hitting the air as the buzzing of a million fans scream behind the rising action. The guitars pick up the steady beat, swinging hands with the tempo and gliding through the air. They're clustered but casual in movement, dancing as the bass rings through their bodies.
I look out at all of them, a smile on my lips.
I take a deep breath.
The first note is steady and clean as if this wasn't the first time I had bel
Why I Always take a JacketWhen I was younger my mom always said to me:
"Take a jacket when you leave the house.
You never know when it's going to be cold."
I listened to her request and took a jacket
Because I wanted to be warm at nighttime.
When a few years passed I realized something;
Sometimes a couple would walk past me
But it was obvious that one person wore a jacket
That belonged to the other person.
I thought it was weird but shrugged it off moments later.
During my adolescent years I got a little jealous.
I found out that giving a person a jacket meant something.
It meant that you cared for said person
And you wanted them to be warm.
This got me wondering: Did other people care for me?
Questions like that made me evaluate myself.
My mom bought me the jackets I wear so that I stay warm,
So that meant she loves me.
After calming myself with this fact,
I snuggle into my own jacket and carry on with my life.
It's cold. Shivers run through me repeatedly.
I forgot my jacket.
Everyone else is laughing and havi
Too LateEarlier, I had a vision
Of my father calling me
After years of not speaking
I was surprised as could be
“Hey,” he greeted softly
“I know it’s been a while
“I have something to tell you.”
I just sat there, without a smile
“You’re twenty-one years old
“And I know I’ve missed a lot
“But listen closely, now
“You’re the only daughter that I’ve got.”
“I’ve appreciated you from the beginning
“I’m sorry I didn’t show it much
“My selfishness blinded me
“It’s definitely my worst crutch.”
“I want you to know you’re beautiful
“I never told you that once
“I regret it now and forever
“Man, I’m such a dunce!”
“And I wouldn’t forget to mention
“How intelligent that you are
“You’re IQ is higher than mine!
“I know that you’ll go far.”
“You have so much potential
I hear it all
What you screech
Every line repeats
Until I fall in my defeat
Can I ever stop
The barrage of words
That crumples me down
Onto the floor?
What gives you the right
To drag my face through dirt?
Why, oh why do I listen to you,
Who brings so much hurt?
Your words bring tears,
Heat rising to my face.
I run out in humiliation,
Sobs coming as I race.
My heart is bleeding
My ears are ringing
My chest is pounding
My sorrow astounding
I can't take it
Enough is enough
The smile is cracked
The mask now gone
I'm finally beaten
Is that what you want?
I'm just a human
I'll never live up
Never reach what yo
Are running out
Like the future
That my heart
My black eyes
Her gorgeous march.
Breaking my hopes
Was our last
She ran away
My life turned grey
Living a plastic life
It’s easy to watch
An entire society
Like bricks in a wall.
Let me stay
Here with you.
I don’t belong
There to them
It was a mistake
Believe that I
My tears spillMy missing you,
my wanting you,
my needing you still,
my tears spill.
it´s all been said before,
you´d just walk in the door.
My love for you,
my dreams of you
oh if it could only be,
then I´d turn back the hands of time
and you´d still be here with me.
By Suzanne Karbach 19th July 2014
Wedding VowToday, my love, I lay my hand in thine
And vow to spend forever at thy side
The path that lies ahead of thee now mine
My strength to bear thy cares and match thy stride
Today, my love, I wear thy wedding ring
I pledge devotion, heart and soul, to thee
I share what joys and sorrows time will bring
And cherish thee for all eternity
Today, my love, I pledge myself thy wife
And take thee as the husband of my heart
I gift thee all the moments of my life
That nothing in this world tear us apart
Not a gameAround they swirl through the air
Laughing loudly as they mock
And jeering at the small young girl
Who's tears run as she sobs
A prisoner of her own sadness
All alone, lost in her despair
She no longer sees the daylight
For no longer does she care
They tear and rip and pull
But she won't do a thing
The fight is won, she is done
She's fallen from the ring
The sun still shines bright outside
But her world's a dull colorless gray
Her heart is stopping, beating slow
She dies the month of May
The ones who once abused her
Showed up with their fake tears
Some had a bit of real regret
But most had only fear
They kept it their small secret
No one else could ever know
Because they had led a girl to die
Left her all alone
It wasn't their fault, they reasoned
Keep your head up.The weight of the world is sitting on your shoulders,
crushing you down,
and making you smaller.
The more you struggle,
the heavier it gets.
My advice is:
Keep your head up.
When it pushes,
And when the world gets the message,
you will fly.
And when you fly,
you will finally understand what it means to be alive.
And that is,
to keep your head up,
and look at the challenge without flinching,
and once you rein dominance,
you hand it over to another that is giving up.
No one deserves what you previously felt.
Secrets and PromisesI am here because of the past,
Because of a promise that is endeavored to be kept.
I can only hope that this dread won't last.
Since the past is also what's killing me the most.
But no one knows,
What goes on in my head.
The painful woes,
That have not yet gone away.
Secrets that can not be shared,
Buried deep, and very far.
Only if anyone cared,
But God knows no one ever will.
Hiding the truth may never feel right,
But I am only doing it for the best.
I am not going to win this fight,
For what is left of me, I'm broken.
.Reminisce.Remember when we'd sit up against the wall?
Share a laugh, make it up as we went along
And how we were so happy, when it was just two
And how my heart is twisting at the thought of you
Remember swinging high and flipping when you reached the top?
And how thousands of miles couldn't tell our hearts to stop?
And now the mist of rain only speaks your name, no matter what I do
Why can't my heart stop twisting at the thought of you?
Remember our first exchange of words that meant the world?
The tug-of-war that we played as lonely fingers curled
And with the summer waning, I don't know what to do
All I feel's my heart twisting at the thought of you.
Remember our last goodbye, a hug cut short by time?
And how it finally hit me that it might be fine
Though love is never-ending, and hearts can go on, too
My heart is always twisting at the thought of you.
Keep in Touch!